The Tough Guide to Fantasy Land
Diana Wynne Jones
Jonathan Ball
Paperback, R109.95
Reviewed by Ian Jamieson, 14 March 2005
"This authoritative A - Z constitutes an essential source of
information for all who dare to venture into the imaginative hinterlands",
well, so says the blurb. Actually a satirical look, in alphabetical order
(what else), at all the various things that are normally met or
encountered, during a fantasy adventure.
"The first thing to do is Find the Map. It will be there", and
then carries on, "The Map is useless, but you are advised to keep
consulting it, because it is the only one you will get."
"Horses, for instance, are very useful creatures and are capable of
galloping all day and often do not require food or water. However, as no
mare ever comes into season on the Tour, and no stallion ever shows an
interest in a mare, it therefore seems probable that they breed by
pollination."
"Moons have a tendency to cluster forever in the same position in the
sky, revealing that Astronomy is not the Management's strong point."
"Orbs are strange things with a double purpose. So wilful are they it
seems likely that they are in reality the positronic brains of
dismembered robots, imported from the SF Tour."
My own personal favourite?
"Heraldry is rampant, passant, and even couchant, but the exact rules
are vague. Generally Management is happy to paint an animal or plant of
one colour on a a field of another and leave it at that."
This book was nominated for a Hugo, and it is a real pity it did not win.
My only complaint was that I could not read it straight through, but had
to stop occasionally, but, that was caused by the format, not the contents.
I loved it.
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